A Ballad of Instant Karma, to the tune of "Charlotte the Harlotte"
'Way out by the ocean, where land sales are cheap,
Where forked-tongued land salesman slither and creep,
Money and prizes they use as a lure
to reel in the suckers to go on a tour.
It's Siegel and Pickett, the guys we love best,
The real estate rip-offs, the plot peddlers' pest.
You sit in their Caddies as they run the pitch,
And tell you a contract will soon make you rich,
But Pickett and Siegel politely decline;
They gobble the goodies and never do sign.
From Hornville, Virginia a swamp called Trail's End
Sucks in greedy victims with offers they send.
Put Pickett and Siegel make dirt dealers cry --
They pick up the prizes and never do buy.
To Accomack County our heroes did rove,
To a desolate wilderness called Captain's Cove.
They laughed at the price and away they did drive,
With sixty four dollars, some silver and knifes.
Out in a ploughed field sits Estates of Vaucluse,
So far in the woods 'twas like chasing a goose.
His shiny Mark IV brought the salesman no luck--
He groaned as Pick pocketed forty three bucks.
So if you get a letter from down by the bay,
That says, "If you'll just come and visit, we'll pay,"
Heed closely this lesson from Alan and Jer:
Go pick up your check, let the sellers beware!
REPEAT CHORUS AND FADE
A NOTE FROM THE EDITOR
The strange format of this newsletter is the result of trying to save money
by cramming everything into as little space as possible. A few words and some
punctuation have been change, but the innocent had better look out for
themselves. One episode of Cranberry Funnies has been held for publication in
the next issue. It wouldn't even fit in this space. The next issue will come out
as soon as enough new contributions are received. They may be given to me at any
Trail Club meeting, or even given to someone to give to me. As for this issue, I
tried. (Hi, new members.) If anyone has ideas, knows a cheap publisher, or wants
to help, I'm at 474-5007.
MESSAGE FROM THE HAND OF YOUR VEEP IN THE WILDERNESS
Having been duly bestowed with the dubious honor of being your Veep for the ungodly term of 365 days (more or less, mostly less I hope!) I have supposed it my duty to inform you of some of the services which this office (the Veepdom) offers for the use, amusement and pleasure of the world. Herein follows a list of said services:
1) Equipment Rental -- We have backpacks, sleeping bags (fiberfill and down), caving kits, snowshoes, life preservers, cartop carriers, and ensolite pads which are available for rent by members and non-members. Fees are on a weekly basis - Wed. to Wed. - members get a 50% discount. If you want to rent something, nab me after a meeting or call me at x2955, or stop by my humble abode (336 Easton Hall) or stop by the Trail Club office in Room 3100 in the Student Union Building at the times which will be listed elsewhere as, would you believe, "office hours."
Also available for rent to members only is an assortment of government surplus gear which includes such useful things as horse-blanket pins and empty tin cans. A complete list of this wonderful stuff is available...
2) Club Library - A complete list of books is posted in a card file on the bulletin board in the office (Rm 3100 S.U.B.) Just to give you an idea of what we have here are a few examples: The Snowshoe Book, So You want to Go Caving (A caving manual for beginners), Guide to the Appalachian Trail in Shenandoah National Park, 184 Miles of Adventure (C&O Canal Guide), Basic River Canoeing, Basic Rockclimbing, Uprope (PATC mountaineering section newsletter), American Whitewater (periodical).
Items in the library ar not available for long term borrow. You may use the library during office hours, or contact me for special arrangements. Items may be taken out to be Xeroxed if some suitable collateral (like your Pentax or Peugeot) is left to guarantee return. There are also innumerable brochures which members have accumulated over the years from all kinds of interesting and not so interesting places in the US and elsewhere. These are available for your perusal. You are also invited to contribute any such items. Clean out your glove compartment!
3) Maps -- We have USGS topographic maps of many areas, particularly Va. and W. Va. A list of maps is posted on the bulletin board next to the library card catalog. There is also a section in the card catalog marked "Maps" which lists some other maps such as PATC maps of the Appalachian Trail. If you don't know which maps you need, then ask me. I probably won't know either, but I'll do my best to find out! There is no charge to borrow maps, but a small deposit may be required.
4) Club Archives - You are invited to view such ancient, interesting things as the club scrapbooks (dating back to the '30's), old club newsletters, The Original Anteater, and other old files and things too numerous to list and too mouldy to read.
5) Office Hours - I will do my best to be in the club office on MWF from 10 to 11 AM. Since most of my mornings are free, there is a good chance you can catch me there (or avoid running into me elsewhere) between 9 AM and 1 PM five days a week. The office is one of my favorite hangouts. Stop by the club office anytime. Read the bulletin board, check out the old catalogs and assorted junk lying around, or just prop up your feet and take a snooze. Another Trail Club member will probably be by in a minute. To get to the club office take either of the two staircases on the mall side of the building on either side of the main lobby to the top.
So be it, the Veepdom rests.
Karen, Dennis, Punch, John and I left early one Saturday morning for New Hampshire. After 14 hours (we took the scenic route through Pennsylvania) we got to Franconia Notch. The next morning we started at Crawford Notch on the Kedrom Flume Trail, which goes uphill 2000 ft. to Ethan Pond Trail. On the way up we had to wait for a train which crossed the trail. We had lunch at Ethan Pond where someone left an inflatable raft, which Dennis borrowed. The pond was full of leeches, so we decided not to go swimming.
By mid-afternoon, we got to Thoreau Falls, which cascade down several hundred feet of rocks. We headed north up Zealand Falls Trail. We found a well used campsite which appeared to be over 200 feet from the trail (according to the estimate of a former football player). After setting up our three man and two woman tents and having dinner, we were paid a visit by a Forest Ranger, who estimated the distance to 125 feet and we had to move.
The second day, we started uphill again, this time on the AT. We passed the Zealand Falls AMC Hut, which was the first of several along the AT. These huts accommodate 20-30 people at $14 each per night. The $14 includes breakfast and dinner. Since we were not staying at the huts, we were glad those people were making a contribution for trail maintenance, etc. and not us.
We kept going all day and the views got better and better. Mt. Washington was visible in the distance, its summit in the clouds. It is the highest point in New Hampshire at 6200 ft.
The AT was pretty crowded. At lunchtime, we took a vote on whether to continue along the ridge (AT) or head back to the valley that evening. The valley won 3-2, a decision we would later regret. At Mt. Guyot we got slightly above the treeline, and were getting pretty thirsty as there hadn't been any water for the last 3 miles (uphill). After getting some water at a spring we ascended Mt. Bond, found some blueberries and passed by "The Cliffs". Then we started downhill and wanted to reach the stream before we made camp. We reached the stream at dusk and bushwhacked back to a campsite and had dinner by candlelight.
The next morning, some of us had baths in the ice cold stream. We set out at a 'Bob Enagonio pace' (4 miles/hour) and covered the Wilderness Trail, Thoreau Falls Trail, Ethan Pond Trail and Kedron Flume Trail that day.
The next day, we did a day hike up Mt. Washington without packs. We were all ready to lobby for closing off the Cog Railway which sends out great clouds of black smoke, polluting one of the cleanest areas on the East Coast.
We reached the "Lake of the Clouds" AMC Hut (about 3/4 way up, which is above tree line and stopped in for hot soup and hot chocolate. Then we set out for the summit after passing a sign warning of some of the worst weather in America. We saw crosses on the way up for people who hadn't made it (in the winter). The views were splendid. The temperature with the wind chill (40-60 mph) was 10 below zero at the summit. Dennis attracted a few comments with his hiking shorts. We came down the Jewel Trail.
On Thursday, Dennis left for Boston and John had knee trouble, so us three girls decided to do a ridge hike in the Franconia Range for our last three days. After spending some time looking for the Gale River Trail, we finally started on the right road. We hadn't gone 10 yards when Uncle John, a naturalist, stopped and gave us a lift to the start of the trail (about 2 miles). So for the third time that week we went uphill and picked up the AT near Mt. Guyot. We spent the night at the Garfield Ridge Campsite (run by AMC, Appalachian Mountain Club, complete with caretaker.) It poured rain all night (for the first time that week.)
We got started before 8 AM, but the trail was rocky and slippery, so we weren't going very fast. We were heading up Mt. Lafayette and got above tree line and the wind was very strong. With heavy fog it looked like a blizzard.
The AT was very un-crowded that day. We had a difficult time finding the trail and with the strong winds, we decided to go back. At that time three people came along and they were going on, so we followed them a short distance and took the next trail downhill and found a beautiful campsite. At 6, the sun came out! We slept 12 hours that night.
The next morning, we went out to the highway and hitched to where John was with the car. Then we went to Stafford, Vermont and visited Karen's friends and attended a craft fair. We then had dinner at Peter Christians Restaurant near Dartmouth College and drove until 3 AM. We slept in a rest area for the rest of the night and were up at dawn and back on the road for home. It was a great week!
STALKING THE LINOLEUM DESERT
A Brief Guide to Backpacking Food from the Supermarket
The only way to eat well on the trail is to carry freeze-dried specialties from your friendly local camping store, right? Wrong! You can have a happy stomach without an aching back or an empty wallet, and with minimal hassle if you use a little common sense -- and know where to look. Anything that will be edible after a few days at room temperature is fair game. Your friendly local guide is waiting at the door of the Co-op (a.k.a. Consumer's) Supermarket, so let's go...
Produce department: The reason we picked Consumer's is hanging over the fruits and roots; Tem Tee brand dried foods. Naturally grown; no preservatives. Munchies, vegetables, mushrooms, spices. Soup blend (a mixture of vegetables) is good in soups, stews and glops. All of Tem-Tee's products are packed in small plastic bags, ready to go, and are tasty and cheap. Don't neglect the fresh stuff, though, especially for short (like weekend) trips. An apple for dessert is good with lunch and dinner; an orange, tangerine, or even grapefruit with breakfast (pack out the peels; they take longer than tin cans to biodegrade); carrot, celery, green pepper, onion, radish, and cucumber can be eaten raw or add a burst of flavor to the pot. Don't forget a few free plastic produce bags. Around the corner too...
Cereals: Pass the candy-coated crap. Pass the overpriced instant oatmeal. Pack your own at 1/4 the price. 1/2 cup quick oats and 1/4 tsp. salt in an ordinary paper envelope or baggie. Add to 1 cup boiling water, simmer 1 minute, add sugar or honey, powdered milk (end of aisle), cinnamon, fruit to taste, yum. Maxwell house makes good instant coffee. You may want to re-package an instant breakfast drink. The grape and grapefruit are interesting for a change. Around the corner to...
Soups: Lipton Cup-a-Soup is expensive and not very good. Maggi and Knorr soup mixes are more expensive but very good. Wyler's makes granulated bullions which dissolves easily, allows you to make any quantity and strength, doesn't have annoying wrappers , and costs less per serving than cubes. Unfortunately, Co-op doesn't carry it. Around the corner to...
Ready-to-eat: Canned fish and meats, obviously. I'm not buying any more tuna until they stop killing dolphins with purse seine nets. Macaroni, and cheese is a good glop base, but overpriced. A few words on canned dishes: if you are in an area where water must be packed in, dehydrated foods won't save much weight. Also, being able to open the can and eat may be a lifesaver if hypothermia is setting in. Dinty Moore makes the best beef stew, Chef Boy-ar-dee the best pseudo-Italian stuff. Bac-O's and Wilson's Genuine bacon bits in 4 oz. can add flavor, crunch and protein. Lipton Instant Dinners are tasty, easy to fix, inexpensive, but not too nutritious. Try adding a can of chicken, soup blend, dried mushrooms or other supplement. Beef stroganoff gets boring fast, and others are hard to find. Dried fruits are also on this aisle. Safeway has a better selection. Around the corner to...
Noodles and House wares: when noodles are packed with flavorings, the price gets outrageous. Buy in bulk at Glut or Beautiful Day. Oriental markets sell dried soybean curd -- think of it as protein noodles. The house wares department has two items of possible interest: plastic shaker bottles at low prices, and soft plastic measuring cups, which can also be used to mix in and eat out of, and dip hot water from the pot. Pass by frozen foods (melts in your pack, not in your pot) to ...
Meat: Co-op keeps their exotic random weight cheese here. You may also find jerky, slim jims, pepperoni, and other dried sausage. Maybe a large party could use canned ham or bacon? Down the aisle to...
Dairy: Cheese has 50% more energy/ounce than meat, as well as mucho protein, calcium and all the other good stuff in milk. Some tips:
1. It's hard to eat a full serving of very sharp cheese.
2. Wrap in double plastic bags, as excess fat will be exuded when the cheese becomes warm.
3. Cheese mold is harmless -- scrape it off.
4. Co-op brand random weight is the best buy.
5. Edam and Gouda are mild tasty, and come in 8 oz. (and 3 oz. --.ed) "rounds" coated with red wax -- sealed until you need them.
Fresh eggs will stay edible for months without refrigeration. Use a stiff plastic egg carrier, part of the original carton, or wrap in a towel or sweater and stow in the center of the pack. Yogurt can be used on the trail by putting1 cup very warm milk (from nonfat dry) and a tablespoon of any non-preservative yogurt as culture in a thermos jar. Leave for 8-12 hours, don't forget to save a tablespoon for the next batch. Carry butter and margarine in a Gerry tube, or soft margarine in it's own container -- check the lid for tightness before buying. Down the aisle to...
Diet foods: Tillie Lewis Eggstra is more compact than fresh eggs, and can't break. No cholesterol, very tasty. Behind you is...
Health foods: Granola, Famila, other nutritious cereals. Herb teas. Honey keeps without preservatives or refrigeration. Smith's Wildflower is tasty and comes in a variety of sizes. If it crystallizes, warm it in water in the jar. Dense, tasty, preservative free breads. Loma Linda and Worthington vegetable protein meat substitutes. Up the aisle to...
Spices and staples: I use Tem-Tee or Goya spices, since they are cheaper and fresher than McCormick. Sugar, if you can afford it. Bisquick, makes pancakes, waffles, pan bread, dumplings. Behind you are...
Ethnic foods: Goya spices, canned exotic seafood when sardines get boring. Telma chicken soup cubes taste like soup, not bullion. Three big cubes (two cups from each) for 29 cents, such a deal! Ignore Chun King crap and go to Manbok Oriental Grocery behind A&P on New Hampshire Ave. Lots of good dried stuff, etc. etc. If you want to boycott them for selling whale, try Disker at Piney Branch and Flower, next to the Chinese Restaurant. Around the corner too...
Candy and Nuts: hard candy for quick energy, M&M's for gorp, mucho junko. Wyler's makes the best powdered drinks. Kool-ade lemonade is good. A&P's Cheeri-ade is acceptable and cheaper. Around the corner to...
Cleaning aides: Brillo pads rust, try plastic scourers or Golden Fleece, a treated terry cloth that gets into corners and lasts months of daily use in the kitchen, or a piece of loofa. Chlorox or other 5 1/4% sodium hypochlorite bleach has several uses: water purification (1-3 drops per quart), dilute 4 to 1 to sanitize utensils and dry poison ivy. Ziploc plastic bags. Ball freezer boxes are cheaper than most, seal really well. Get them at Cook's on Cherry Hill Road. Around the corner to...
Dried stuff and canned fruits and vegetables: comments about canned dishes apply to vegetables. Canned fruit is not as wasteful, since you can drink the juice. Rice and lentils are about all the dried stuff of use, since beans take hours to cook -- after soaking overnight. Martha White Spud Flakes are the best instant potatoes. Up the aisle to...
The checkout: Help the cashier get you out quickly -- when you empty the cart put each item on the belt with the price up and group items (2/.69, 3/$1) together. Out the door...
Editors note: Brands are the author's preference. The Anteater would like to print similar articles or notes on good camping "finds" in the supermarket.
SHENANDOAH CIRCUIT HIKE
Jeremy's Run & Knob Mountain Trails
April, 1975. Bob and Ann, Don and Beth, Mark, Bill, Justin and I took a day hike in Shenandoah National Park. We started at Elkwallow Picnic Area near milepost 24. We got on the AT via a short side trail and hiked down Jeremy's Run. It's a nice little trout stream with one notable waterfall. We had lunch at the waterfall where we watched a bunch of kids throw rocks at a fish in the stream (Boy Scouts, no doubt.)
At the junction of Jeremy's Run Trail and Neighbors Trail, our group split. Don and Beth took Neighbors up toward Skyline Drive to save wear and tear on Beth's already bleeding blisters. The rest of us took the Knob Mountain Trail up the sweltering switchbacks to the dizzy height of 2865 feet. From there it was all downhill to Jeremy's Run again.
This downhill mutilated my sore knee and I found myself staggering along for 2 miles at a blistering 1/3 mph limp. Mark's new Vasgue boots were eating away at his feet, so I had good company in my misery. With our bandages and staggering gait, we looked like a pair of war refugees.
We took the Knob Mountain cutoff near Elkwallow Shelter and, after a short uphill spurt, we were back at the truck. Don and Beth were nowhere in sight, so we buzzed down Skyline Drive to look for them. About 2 miles down Don flagged us down (couldn't miss him in his bright yellow "Panama Red" shirt.) Total distance hiked: approx. 10 miles. Casualties: 3.
OLD RAG MOUNTAIN
A certain four of us (Bob, Paulette, Mark and Rick) were headed for the Massanuttens the other day (May 1) when Mark, the driver came up with a brilliant idea. Since it's probably going to rain all day, let's go climb Old Rag Mountain instead of hiking in the Massanuttens. That way besides getting wet, we'll get tired too. "What a fine idea," everyone chimed unison, "so be it." And that's how we ended up on Old Rag Mountain.
It never did rain that day and the hike turned out to be a really worthwhile endeavor. We parked at the base of the mountain at the temporary parking lot just outside Sperryville and began hiking up and up and up. We passed a group of juvenile delinquents just before we got into the boulder area near the top. It was also at this point that we climbed above the clouds. The hour or so we spent on top the mountain looking out over the clouds that filled the valley below, was most enjoyable --except for the bugs. They were pesky. After a leisurely lunch, exploring, cloud gazing, and bug swatting we headed down the mountain via Old Rag Shelter and the fire road.
This being my first trip to Old Rag, I had fully expected (from overheard conversations and comments) to share the mountain with 30,000 other people. As it turned out, we only passed that one group (and never saw them again!) Try Old Rag on a rainy day in the middle of the week -- it could be worth your while. We had a great trip.
POISON IVY REMEDY
This is especially nice during times when poison ivy is all to prevalent and jewelweed can't be found.
Pick Jewelweed and place any and all above ground parts (leaves, flowers, stems) in boiling water. Boil until potion is orangey-yellow. Bottle and keep in refrigerator. Keeps indefinitely.
Use as a preventative measure if you know you've been in the ivy or you're going to be in the ivy.
It also works to relieve the itching of the rash and helps make it go away. If you've really got a bad case, this stuff, in conjunction with cortisone cream (available only with a prescription) works great.
To identify jewelweed -- The plant grows in shady, rather than wet places. It grows from knee to shoulder high, is light green in color, with juicy looking rigid stems. The leaves are one to four inches long with scalloped edges. The flowers are irregular (They look something like Dutchmen's Breeches) and yellow or orange in color. The plant is also known as Touch-Me-Not
THE INTREPID SKUNK
The Shenandoah jinx remains intact. Somebody finally got crazy enough to try again to hike the 95 mile length of the AT in Shenandoah National Park in one weekend. The result was about the same as on previous attempts. Because of rain and sickness and a few lousy excuses, the end never came within sight.
It all started about 10:30 AM on Friday, May 9. Polly and Bob filled the entire back seat of the infamous Mazda wagon with tons of food, clothes, packs, lanterns and other junk, and took off for the southern end of Shenandoah. They got to Jarman Gap, where the AT enters the park, about six hour later after several stops and a half hour gift wrapping session o the hood of the car in front of the Charlottesville Post Office.
Bob, the sole intrepid hiker this time, loaded up a day pack with food and water for a 20 mile trek that evening, foregoing extra clothes and raingear to save weight. At about 4:30, he took off down the trail, while Polly went ahead to that night's resting place to hike around a few hours.
Well, things went fine for a couple of hours. Bob knocked off the first 12 miles by 7:30 despite going through about a dozen Kleenex because of a cold. But just before dark, the clouds began to gather, and soon a driving rain let loose. At first it was no worry, because only 2 hours of hiking lay ahead. But as darkness and heavy rain set in, and cold, things began to fall apart quickly. The four mile per hour pace became impossible to maintain, meaning several hours of darkness hiking were now in the prospect.
Bob lost the trail several times crossing Skyline Drive, and the rain threatened to put the flashlight out of operation. Finally, dampness, cold, and visions of getting lost with a dead flashlight forced him to abandon the trail and hike Skyline Drive. Well, that decision may have averted the danger of getting lost or frozen to death, but it ultimately spelled the end of the hike. You see, walking on a hardtop road at full speed with saturated socks is one of the best known ways of producing blisters. Also it meant walking several extra miles the next day to cover the part of the trail that was skipped. But the crowning blow came along the road into Loft Mountain Campground when a skunk let loose it's putrid venom all over the trudging hiker.
A few minutes later, sometime around 10:30, Polly made a courageous decision not to disown the struggling misfit that walked up to her car. So there they sat, both coughing and sneezing, Bob dripping wet and on the verge of pneumonia, the whole place smelling like skunk, Bob's feet blistered and sore already. Get the picture? Bob decided right then and there to call it quits and enjoy the rest of the weekend hiking sane distances and sleeping at night. And so, within a 7 hour period, this third attempt at the hundred-mile weekend went down the creek in a flood of rainwater and skunk juice.
P.S. - I'm going to try it again someday.Yes, I know I'm crazy.
Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Mix together well:
1 quart water
4 pounds whole wheat flour
1 1/2 pounds raw or brown sugar
12 ounces non-fat dry milk solids
2 tablespoons baking powder
2 tablespoons sea salt
2 cups honey
1 cup blackstrap molasses
1 1/4 cups oil
1 cup sesame seeds
1 1/2 cup wheat germ
Turn into a greased roasting pan. Bake 1 hour. Cut into squares and then allow to dry in air until semi dry. A 2 X 2" square will sustain a person for a day. Yields 32 such squares, so either make less or use large utensils. Responds well to freezing. Great for quick breakfast, trail lunch, emergency stash, or munchies.
Chapped lip problem? The Trail Club physician suggests the use of fresh Bobwhite Quail droppings as a preventive measure. It won't do much to cure the problem, but you won't lick your lips for a while!
Return to the Terrapin Trail Club
Return to Rick's Home Page